When Adam first saw Eve, he said: "A man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one flesh" [Genesis 2:24]. When Jesus was asked about divorce, he responded: "From the beginning of creation, 'God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate" [Mark 10:6-10].
Today, divorce is very common and in some cases, I must admit, it is necessary. However, my focus here is on those who disrespect and humiliate themselves and their spouses even prior to any divorce. How did our Lord respond to them?
A woman was once caught in adultery and was brought to Jesus, and he was asked: "Teacher, . . . In the law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say" [John 8:5]. "Jesus bent down and began to write on the ground with his finger. But when they continued asking him, he straightened up and said to them, 'Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.' Again he bent down and wrote on the ground. And in response, they went away one by one, beginning with the elders. So he was left alone with the woman before him. Then Jesus straightened up and said to her 'Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?' She replied, 'No one, sir.' Then Jesus said, 'neither do I condemn you. Go and from now on do not sin anymore" [John 8:6-11]. And so must we do, throw our stones on the ground, walk away, and leave the accused ones to God, since none of us measures up anyway.
Jesus knew that the woman's accusers were not interested in seeing her repent but condemned. It does feel good to condemn in others the wrong we see in ourselves. He wrote on the ground, probably their deepest hidden secrets, so that whomever looked at the ground to pick up stones and heard the words of Jesus, realized that God knew their hearts (John 2:25).
Jesus did not excuse the woman's actions. Instead, he tied her sinfulness with the sinfulness of her accusers, and hence her fate with their fate. He sent them away reflecting on their thoughts and actions in lieu of judging others. He sent her un-judged, saving her life, instructing her to go and sin no more. He called her and them to step out of darkness into the light. But how can one go and sin no more?
Human beings can only let go of something they love by loving something else more. To go and sin no more, she must love a higher beauty, a higher truth, and a higher good, more than she loves her sin. She must love someone more than she loves her sin. She must look at her sin and look back at God and say, “God I love you more.” Each one of us must look at all that surrounds us or come our way and say “God I love you more.” That is how we follow Jesus commandment: “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your being, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself” [Luke 11:27].
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